Battling with lust/sexual desires as a Christian believer
I wrote this some weeks ago and got shy to share
I think as christians, we hardly or never talk about the issues we face through our journey to being Christ-like. The actual struggle.
I am currently battling with sexual desires and in a genuine sense, as much as I feel like I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me, (Phil 4:13) I enjoy the little minutes of battling with lust.
What exactly is Lust?
Lust is a strong and intense desire,usually of a sexual nature,often characterised by overwhelming passion or longing. It’s craving a powerful or yearning for physical pleasure or gratification.
The Bible talks against lust, calling it adultery (mat 5:28) and sin ( 1 John 2:16)
The Bible has made us understand in 1st John 2:16 that all that is in the flesh including lust and pride is not from the lord. It also said in Galasians 5:16 that we should let the holy spirit guard our lives, so that we would not do what our sinful nature craves.
As much as I know all of this, I don’t get to remember this when I am standing in front of that 5.8 ft, 6ft tall and handsome yummy looking man whose touch can literally turn my brain cells to waves. For the past few weeks, I have been really struggling with my desires. I have prayed, I have created some replacement measures to tackle some of my vices but it feels like it is an unending eruption of sexual hormones.
I know the holy spirit helps, He reminds me to do things, get distracted and sometimes constantly reminds me to remove myself from situations. The reality however is that it is hard. In my case, I can’t control where and when my body starts to feel sexual desires. Maybe it’s just me, but most times I enjoy all the in betweens, I sometimes don’t want it to end. Maybe that’s where the struggle comes in.
The struggle of wanting to live a life pleasing to God and battling with old habits or fighting against the things of the world and the flesh you have to live and survive in.
I know the Holy Spirit helps but it doesn’t just go away. It doesn’t just disappear because sometimes I feel like I have overcome the challenges and then I feel like I am stressed out fighting against myself again.
The struggle that comes with lust as a believer for me is that I am constantly battling with my conviction and my desires. I am stuck telling myself that God would forgive me. He understands that this is a struggle and i am not perfect and then there is one part of me that is just stuck believing that I am preventing everything that God has planned for me happening which scares me. I also can’t get the imagination off my head that the Angels guarding me would stay in one corner of the room watching me have sex while waiting for me to send them on some spiritual Errand later. I also can’t help but reminisce on the feelings I get during sex.
I spoke with a fellow believer, who is also on the celibacy path as me and currently in a relationship with someone also on the same path, she made me understand that it can never not be hard. I can’t wake up everyday and expect not to get tempted by the devil. As long as I am on this journey to perfection, I’ll always be tempted because the devil will always find a way to draw me further away, tempt me further away. Away from God and back to my vices, back to the things he knows I enjoy that God does not encourage.
She advised me not to do it alone. Doing it alone isn’t sufficient enough because I am fighting more than the ordinary. I have to wake up everyday and outline the things I do not want and ask the Holy Spirit to help me. Not rely on my own strength and that way I can overcome the devil when he comes with all his tempting tricks.
“Always remember that God is very intentional”.
She also told me to always remind myself why I chose this path in the first place. Reminding myself would encourage me to fight through it all.
That said, I would like to note that, as much as I know this advice is super handy, I can not naively assume that temptation has been automatically eradicated and that I would be completely clean from it because I know I live in a world ruled by the flesh.
I wanted to put it out there for those who are trying daily to be better and sometimes struggling like me. You’re not alone, not just with people going through similar things but with the Holy spirit as well and my prayer is that we are all able to conquer the enemy’s advances in our lives.
If you read this far, Thank you Unicorn!
Love love you.
